英语笑话大全

Mother: Kissing a man you just met! You never saw me doing that!
妈妈：亲吻一个你刚认识的男人！ 你绝不会看到我这么做！

Two men were walking past each other at a railway station.
两个男人在火车站擦肩而过。

Teacher: Who can tell me something of importance that didn’t exist one hundred years ago?
老师：谁能告诉我一些一百年前不存在的重要事情？

Teacher: My children, remember this motto, ‘Give others more and leave for yourself less.’
老师：我的孩子们，记住这句格言：“多给别人，少给自己。”

Poet: Burglars broke into my house last night.
诗人：昨晚窃贼闯入我家。

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
小罗伯特向他妈妈要两分钱。

A convict’s wife asked the prison warden to give her husband an easier job.
一名罪犯的妻子请求监狱长给她丈夫一份轻松的工作。

Patient: I’m so frightened— this is my first operation.
病人：我好害怕，这是我第一次做手术。

One’s wife could not read the thermometer, but she took her husband’s temperature with it and gave a call to the doctor. 
某人的妻子看不懂体温计，但她用体温计量了量丈夫的体温，然后给医生打电话。

“You’re sacked.”
“你被解雇了。”

“There’s a leaky roof in my office.”
“我办公室的屋顶漏水。”

A boastful American from Texas was being shown the sights of London by a taxi-driver.
一位来自得克萨斯州喜欢自吹自擂的美国人正在出租车司机的带领下参观伦敦的景点。