英语笑话大全

A guy calls 911 in a panic. “My wife is having a baby! Her contractions are only one minute apart!”
一个人惊慌失措地拨打了911，说：”我妻子要生孩子了！她的宫缩间隔只有一分钟！”

A dad was trying to teach his kid about the evils of drinking. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey.
一位父亲试图教他的孩子喝酒的坏处。 他把一只虫子放在一杯水里，并把另一只虫子放在一杯威士忌里。

A man in the grocery store notices a woman with a three-year-old girl in her cart.
杂货店里的一个男人注意到一个女人，她的手推车里有一个三岁的女孩。

I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.
我的钱包里总是放着我妻子和孩子的照片。

一对夫妻有两个小儿子，一个8岁一个10岁，他们都非常调皮。他们总是惹麻烦，父母知道如果镇上出现了什么恶作剧，很可能就有自己两个儿子的份。

岳母冲进产房去了解女儿的情况。当她走进候诊室时，就看到了她的女婿。她不知道的是，他正在用iPod听板球比赛。

Sarah watches as her mother tries on an expensive fur coat in a high-end department store.
莎拉看着她的母亲在一家高档百货公司试穿一件昂贵的皮草大衣。

A family takes a trip to Disney World.
一家人去迪斯尼世界旅游。

A mother traveled across the country to watch her only son get married and graduate from the air force on the exact same day.
一位母亲穿越整个国家去看她的独生子在同一天结婚和从空军毕业。

The Odd Thing About Parenting
为人父母的奇怪之处

Teacher: When was Rome built?
老师：罗马是什么时候建的。

Mel’s son rushed in the door after school shouting, “Dad! Dad! I got a part in the school Christmas play!”
梅尔的儿子放学回家兴冲冲地跑进门里大声说道：“爸爸！爸爸！我在学校的圣诞剧里扮演了一个角色。”