英语笑话大全

Q: What does a mobster buried in cement soon become?
问：一个暴徒被埋在水泥里马上会变成什么？

Salesman: Little boy, is your mother at home?
推销员：小家伙，你妈妈在家吗？

A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: “Here lies John Kelly, a lawyer and an honest man.”
一个到墓地拜谒的人看到一块墓碑上写着：“这里躺着的是约翰·凯里，一个律师和一个诚实的人。”

Few people know that George Washington was actually a Texan.
没有几个人知道乔治·华盛顿实际上是得克萨斯州人。

Q: What’s the definition of a bachelor pad?
问：单身汉的定义是什么？

A small town’s only barber was known for his arrogant, negative attitude.
一座小镇惟一的理发师以傲慢消极的态度而出名。

Despite his best sales pitch, a life-insurance salesman was unable to get a couple to sign up for a policy.
尽管一名人身保险推销员的销售额达到了最高峰，但他还是不能让一对夫妇为一份保险单签字。

So the guy climbs up, jumps, lands on his head, stands up and bows.
于是，那人爬了上去，向下跳，头先落地，站起来，鞠了一躬。

The city council was interviewing an applicant for the position of city manager.
市议会在面试一名应聘市行政长官的人。

“When I was a youngster,” complained the frustrated father,
“我小时候，”一个沮丧的父亲诉苦说

Friend: You don’t look so good, old man. What’s wrong?
朋友：你看上去气色不大好。出了什么事？

A group of tourists gathered in an upscale restaurant and ordered sandwiches and soft drinks.
一群游客在一家高档餐厅聚集，点了三明治和软饮料。