英语笑话大全

“Married!” said a meek voice in the crowd.
“结过婚的！”人群中一个温顺的声音说。

A speaker was giving a speech on the difference between man and woman. He said, “Man is like the thumb, and woman is like the little finger…”
一位演讲者正在做男女有别的演讲。他说：“男人像大拇指，女人像小拇指⋯⋯”

理查德不太聪明，所以好多人都拿他开心。在一个漆黑的夜晚，男孩们让他顺着手电筒的光柱往上爬。

The pedestrian called out, “Where are you now?” He meant to ask his friend’s address.
步行者大声问道：“你现在在哪里？”他是想问朋友的住址。

A: Mr. Brown died yesterday, are you going to attend his funeral?
甲：布朗先生昨天去世了，你去参加他的葬礼吗？

“Dear me, how could a woman be so ugly?”
“天呐，天下竟有这样丑的女人！”

“But, madam, let me…” began the man.
“可是，太太，让我⋯⋯”老人开口说道。

The following Sunday he began by looking around the people in the church and asking which of them had read the seventeenth chapter of St. Mark.
下一个礼拜天，一开始他就环顾教堂里所有的信徒，问他们中间哪些人读了《马可福音》第17 章。

Mother: Well, son, what’s your place on the school-list this month?
母亲：好吧，儿子，我问你，这个月你的学习成绩在班上是第几名？

He ran quickly to the house shouting, “Granny, come quick! One of you chickens is in bloom!”
他马上向屋子跑去，一边跑一边喊：“奶奶，快来！你的一只鸡开花了！”

The question was: When it thunders why do you see the lightning first, then hear the thunder rolls?
这个问题是：为什么打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电，后听到雷声？

Andersen led a very simple life. He always wore the same old hat whenever he went out.
安徒生生活简朴，无论什么时候他出门都戴着同一顶旧帽子。